Now That I've Seen Her
by itbloomedforyourlittlegirl
Summary: Gibbs proposes to Kate, only for their night to be interrupted by a call informing him that Shannon is alive, and at NCIS, waiting for him. How will Kate react to seeing Shannon? Because now that she's seen her, she's more than just a whispered name during yet another nightmare. Kibbs AU. Mostly Kate's POV. Two-Shot.
1. Chapter 1

**Now That I've Seen Her**

* * *

Kate's smile widened, and she bit her bottom lip, giggling.

"So?" Gibbs gazed up at her in adoration, on knee pressed into the ground, holding an open, black velvet box, displaying a simple, beautiful diamond ring.

"Yes! Yes, I will marry you." She had to keep from bouncing out of her seat, the happiness bubbling up inside of her, ready to burst.

He slipped the ring onto her finger, and twisted his hand to interlace their fingers, she pulled him up, and they shared a soft, smile-filled kiss.

The buzzing of Gibbs' phone drew them apart.

"If that's DiNozzo, I'm firing him." He grumbled, earning yet another giggle from Kate.

"Gibbs." He barked. "DiNozzo, I said no call- what? Shannon?"

* * *

As soon as Kate saw her, she knew.

She just, _knew._

The way the smile forming on Gibbs' lips flickered in his eyes.

Something about way he enveloped her with his strong arms, and buried his face into her long, red hair, made Kate's stomach itch.

The sight of Shannon pressed a little too firmly against Gibbs' chest, and his hand cupping the back of her neck as he held her, his eyes squeezed shut.

Kate's heart cried, hoped, that the moment unfolding before her was unreal; a lie, perhaps. However, when Kate saw the look in Shannon's eyes as the two pulled apart, she was sure it would kill Shannon to lose him; similarly to how Kate's chest tightened now. She glanced up to Gibbs, concluding that maybe, just maybe, he needed Shannon, too.

When Kate met Gibbs, he was reckless. A broken, empty man; nothing but a hard shell, surviving and not living. Their relationship started slowly, from calling him to help her when her car broke down in the middle of nowhere, to coffee mornings before work, and staying over each other's houses until the first time they whispered " _I love you,"_ and made love. He still had nightmares, he still woke up in a pool of his own sweat, crying out in the night, something that sounded like a blurred name, and she'd ache as she cradled him in her arms, so unsure of how to fix his broken soul.

Soulmates? Fate? Kate never believed in any of it. She never believed her and Gibbs were destined to be together. She believed they were two people who met, fell in love, and work hard through the differences in their relationship.

But now, Kate thought, perhaps it was fate that suddenly brought Shannon back to him after so many years, after her supposed death. That the love, and the life of his many dreams, was true before Kate had even met Gibbs.

Should Kate be the one to stop his dream from living?

Gibbs was hesitant to leave Shannon, and it was evident he didn't want to. If he kissed her cheek once, he kissed it three more times, as Kate watched from her desk, waiting for him to return so they could visit Abby in the lab.

"You okay?" He mumbled as he pushed the call button for the elevator.

"Fine." Kate murmured.

She stood in front of him, and moved further away the more he scooted toward her. When she felt his lips on the back of her neck, she couldn't stop tears from over-filling her eyes, and streaming down her cheeks. Her body shook as her crumbling heart forced out a sob, and she felt his lips stop, but they still rested on her skin.

"Kate?" He leaned passed her and flipped the emergency switch.

She took several, gasping breaths. "Yeah?" She managed.

"Are you okay?" It was a stupid question, especially when he heard her sniffle.

"I'm fine, Gibbs." Her voice was cool.

He flinched, she hadn't called him that in a while, even at work, 'Jethro' was the name she was accustomed to using.

She moved to lean against the nearest wall, in fear that if she didn't her legs would fail her and she'd crumble into a trembling mess on the floor. Gibbs stood directly opposite her.

"Kate. Why are you crying?" His eyes narrowed, and twitched.

"I've been blind for so long." She whispered.

"What are you talking about, Kate?"

"I can see it now." She chewed her lip, and chanced a look at him, only it caused her to slam her eyes shut, and bow her head as another sob rolled up through her body.

Gibbs took both her hands in his. "Kate?" He questioned, rubbing his thumb across the engagement ring he had placed on her finger only hours ago.

"You're hers, Jethro. You always have been." She took a deep breath, holding back tears for a mere moment.

"Shannon?" He was immediately at her defence, and Kate almost laughed.

"You love her."

"I love you." Gibbs challenged. "For God's sake, Kate, look at me!"

She couldn't bring herself to. She was standing firm, hopeful that her tears wouldn't betray her again, and that if she looked into those pale blue eyes she'd come to adore, she would lose all the strength she needs to set him free.

Gibbs hooked his fingers under her chin, coaxing her to look at him. Her watery eyes shimmered under the low light in the halted elevator, and her bottom lip quavered.

"Oh, Katie."

"Don't." She pleaded. The use of the nickname she once hated, but had grown to love, making her wince.

"I'm here with you now, that's all that matters."

"I've already lost you." She gulped down the lump in her throat, but bit her bottom lip to keep her from choking out, but tears still fell silently down her cheeks.

Gibbs moved his hand to cup her cheek, he leaned in and rested his forehead against her, kissing away a stray tear that had fallen onto her nose.

She saw a glimmer in his eyes, as they bore into hers.

"Please don't kiss me, Gibbs. If you do, I don't stand a chance."

His lips hovered above hers.

The choice was his to make.

"I'm sorry, Kate."

* * *

 **Should I leave this open to interpretation, or should I continue as a two-shot?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Now That I've Seen Her**

* * *

Gibbs had chased her once he'd found her empty desk hours later. She'd left work in hurry, teardrops dripping off her chin as she did.

Kate switched on the light to their bedroom, his bedroom, and took a deep breath. She could still feel the ghost of his lips as they brushed against the corner of hers. He had kissed her, without quite kissing her, and so Kate took that as his decision. " _I'm sorry, Kate."_ His voice still sang in her ear, and she couldn't shake the heavy feeling in her chest.

She frowned as she looked over the room, images of their many nights together danced across her mind, as if she were dying; the moments she held closest to her heart flashing before her.

Retrieving a medium-sized back pack from the bottom of the closet she began to pack some of her things, enough for a week, maybe two. She paused, and then hesitated before she pulled out Gibbs' slightly faded red, USMC sweater from her pyjama drawer. The corners of her lips curled into a small smile, and she lifted it to her nose, burying her face into it. Although it had managed its way to her pile of folded clothes, and no one but her had worn it in several months, it still smelled like him. Bitter coffee, and sawdust; the smell clung to the fraying sleeves. She placed it on top of the drawers, shutting her eyes and urging herself not to start crying again.

Folding it, she placed it into his drawer instead, the ring on her left hand glimmering as she did. She rolled it between her index finger and her thumb, catching a glimpse of the engraved letters on the bottom. ' _Semper Fi'_ , she hadn't noticed that before, too wrapped up in the joy of him, and the devastation that followed shortly after.

As Kate began to slide the ring up, and off her finger, she heard a noise that startled her. She whipped around, relaxing a little when she saw him.

"Gibbs, you scared me." She still couldn't look at him, she glanced down at the ring, still caught between her two fingers, guilt washing over her.

"I was just about to leave this." She slid it off her finger, and held it out to him, not taking her eyes off of it.

"Keep it." He mumbled.

"I'd rather not remember you." Her voice was bitter, and it stung him.

"I didn't know she was alive. My life was gone, but then I found you. I had you."

"Say what you want, but she's the mother of your child."

"Kelly is gone, Kate. And Shannon… I let her go a long time ago."

"In your nightmares, the name that you shouted was hers." She hesitated, but placed the ring on the dresser. "She's not just something in your past. Not anymore." She shook her head, gulping back tears.

Gibbs opened his mouth, as if to speak, but then promptly closed it again.

"Don't hold back, Gibbs."

"I'm sorry you had to see her, you didn't deserve that."

"No, it's exactly what I had to see. Only, one thing you left out from all those years ago Gibbs, was that you still loved her."

"I don't."

"She's the love of your life, the one that got away and now…." She stopped, as if the reality had finally hit her, and it bruised more than she wanted him to see. "Now she's back."

"Kate."

She held up her hand, stopping him.

"Now that I've seen her, she's more than an incoherent name."

"I didn't ask for this."

"And I did?" Her voice broke, the pain she'd been masking starting to creep through.

"She's not just a fling from long ago, Kate."

"You don't think I know that? You don't think I see the way you look at her."

Gibbs couldn't say anything. That, or he didn't want to.

"You love her." She whispered.

"Katie, please." He moved closer to her.

"Please, Jethro." She held up her hands, pressing them against his chest and pushing him away.

"No. Listen to me."

When he was sure he'd got her attention, he spoke again.

"When I thought she'd died, I lost my life. I lost everything. I lost my daughter, and my wife. I had no life left, Kate. Truth be told, I was ready to die with them. Part of me already did."

Her heart soared out to Gibbs, and still, all she wanted was to cradle him close and take away his pain. However, she resisted the urge.

"Then I met you on Air Force One. You challenged me, you were a pain in the ass and I loved it. I'm sure I've loved you since our conversation about you growing balls like a… a toad?"

She smiled at the memory. "A frog." She corrected.

"Ah." He smiled.

"The one question… The only thing that matters. Is it her now, or me?"

Gibbs didn't speak, his lips parted but no sound came out, his eyes searching the room and landing on a framed picture of the pair. His arms were wrapped around her shoulders as he stood behind her, his lips pressed to her cheek.

"Go." She whispered.

"Kate."

"Go, Jethro. Live your dream. Be happy."

"Katie, I don't-"

She smiled through the tears now falling from her eyes.

"Go." She squeezed his hand, and leaned up to kiss his lips one last time. She tiptoed and lined up her lips with his ear. "It doesn't matter that it didn't last. You were the best part of my life."

"Go be happy. I'll be okay." She gave him a watery smile, reluctantly dropping her hand from the palm of his.

Gibbs turned on his heels. And left.

* * *

"Thank you for speaking with me. I know it was a shock, at first." Shannon spoke, finally. Gibbs and her had been sitting opposite each other in silence for fifteen minutes, in a small, Italian restaurant.

"Uh-huh." He bobbed his head, taking a gulp.

Silence fell around them again, and he shook his head, an attempt to grasp reality. "You hungry? They have great spaghetti here."

"I don't like Spaghetti." She smiled. "You know that."

"Right." _Shit._ It was Kate who adored the spaghetti, and always ordered it despite Gibbs' attempts to convince her to try something new.

Shannon slid her hand over the top of his, leaning closer toward, glancing toward his lips.

Gibbs involuntarily flinched at her warm hands on his. He was used to soft hands holding his, Kate's hands were always over his, but Kate's were cold, always cold, no matter what the weather, and he had grown to love her refreshing touch, and how he'd use that as an excuse to take her hands into his to warm them.

He shook his head, sliding his hands from beneath hers, bringing one up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"I don't know anymore." He furrowed his brow, and then looked at her.

"You let me go a long time ago. I understand." Shannon smiled reassuringly at him. "We are different people now. Kate loves you. She'll take care of you, I can see that. Don't mess it up, Jethro. You love her too."

He frowned, but even so his lips curled into a smile.

"She told me to be happy. She was in pieces, Shan. And all she was worried about was my happiness. I do. I do love her." He spoke quietly.

"Then go get her."

"Yeah?"

Shannon patted his hand. "Yeah."

He promptly stood, and dropped a kiss on her head. "Thanks Shan."

Then he was gone.

Shannon watched him rush to his car from the window. "Go get her." She whispered to herself, a smile creeping over his face. She was right. They were different people now, and that was okay.

* * *

Kate's fingers curled around the handle of her bag, clutching so tight her knuckles turned white. She stood stiffly in the hall, and ran her free hand over the worn wallpaper, tracing a bumpy scratch with her finger. She smiled weakly as the memory flickered playfully in her mind.

" _No, no, to the left!"_

" _Shit."_

" _Gibbs!" She giggled, stumbling a little, and bumping against the wall as she did._

 _Gibbs gripped the arm of the sofa they were manoeuvring a little tighter, steadying his grip on in._

" _Remind me why we needed a new sofa." He grunted._

" _Years of sleeping on it, you ruined the cushions." She straightened up, adjusting her own grip. "Now, to the left."_

" _Kate, I'm telling you, I can't get this part through the door."_

" _Let's try a different position."_

 _Gibbs smirked._

" _Don't." She warned, narrowing her eyes, but smirking back at him._

" _Okay, let's try this again, come around here a little." He gestured with his head._

 _She did as he instructed, losing her grip causing the sofa to fall against the wall, scraping the wallpaper. She squealed and jumped out of the way as the sofa thumped to the floor. She scrunched her nose, and glanced toward Gibbs, who had now lowered the side he was carrying to the floor._

" _Any chance it looks good here?"_

 _Gibbs laughed, stretching his arm out and taking her small hand into the palm of his. He pulled her down onto the sofa with him, wrapping her up in his arms and kissing her cheek, enjoying the sound of Kate's light giggles._

She took a deep breath, reaching out and grasping the doorknob. Before she had the chance to twist it, it was turning the opposite way.

The hinges of the door squeaked, slowing inching open to reveal Gibbs standing at the other end. His still outstretched was hand shaking, she noticed. And she realised this was the first time she'd seen him look nervous.

"I will never understand what I did to deserve you. But I am so glad I did it."

Kate tilted her head, giving him a half-shrug in reply.

"Just look at you, Kate." He cupped her cheek and caressed his trembling thumb over it.

She dragged her eyes up from their fixed position on his shirt, and they locked onto his. There was a glint in them, and his cheeks rose when he smiled.

"How could I not be in love with you?"

Kate let out a shaky laugh, teardrops falling from her bottom eyelashes. She bit her bottom lip.

He brought up his other hand to cup her face fully, inching closer toward her.

"The story of my life began again with you. You Kate. It's you. You were never a choice. It's always been you."

Gibbs traced his lips over hers, his eyes flicking to look into hers only to close seconds later, kissing her tenderly. He could taste the salt of her tears on her lips, but this time, they were happy.

He pulled his face away from hers, just enough to gaze into her eyes, and he whispered his next heartfelt words against her lips.

"You are my new dream."

* * *

 **Notes: I really feel like I didn't do this the justice it deserved but… Happy ending, completely cheesy Kibbs is always good, right? Either way, I hope you liked it. :)**


End file.
